sentimental crap

Now that I am newly alone (Laura moved out about a month ago (to not be with me)), is it possible to be any more cliche than to feel like all the songs I'm listening to apply to my situation? It's just so predictable and smarmy that I want to choke myself for feeling so transparently maudlin about it. A lot of people are telling me that this is a great opportunity to "grow", improve myself, etc. It just implies a kind of confident pioneer attitude I don't have right now.

I'm so not over this. It does not help that she lives two blocks away and that we necessarily come in contact with each other (finding each other's things in our own, mail still shows up here for her). I wish I could skip to the acceptance part of this. I'm still thinking like she's around: my thought patterns include her presence so I'm always tripping over myself lately. The apartment is so empty and messy. I like to think its disarray mirrors my own internal state, but maybe that's just an excuse for not caring. No point to this post except she's coming over today and I'm thinking.